Yesterday was yet again another thought provoking Oprah Show for me. Yesterday's show was about having the sex talk with your children (specifically your daughters). I came in a little late and didn't finish the whole thing, but I got just enough to bother me.
I thought all day about writing this post, but when I was recounting the show to Shawn I was just getting more and more annoyed so I decided to use my personal blog as my soap box.
Dr. Laura Berman was on the show giving tips about how and when to have the talk with your children. They had a mother on who (with the assistance of Dr. Laura Berman) had the sex talk with her 10 year old daughter. It actually was very informative and she seemed to be doing well....Then they get to the whole pleasuring part and how to explain to your freshman's about loving yourself. Her reasoning behind it was that if they learn they can do it themselves they won't feel like the feelings are specific to a boy, thus they may not have sex. They talked about vibrators and the whole thing. I immediately get inwardly outraged and here's why.
I think every child is different, number one. Some children may be ready for the talk at 10 some at 13. It's a maturity thing. I do believe that it is essential that children get this information from their parents and not their peers, television or even (dare I say it) teachers. I believe it's important to give your children all of the facts. I personally intend to teach my children abstinence. Some may think that it's an ideal, unrealistic, religiously driven, or just plain stoopid thing to teach. But nonetheless, abstinence in my opinion is the best. Granted my Phoenix showed up prior to me being married, I still longed to have waited and that's what my children will know. Remember as parents we want the best, better then what we had.
But what really angered me with yesterday's show was the emphasis put on teaching children or pre-teens about masturbation. I think it's wrong. That is an adult act and by teaching our children that we are taking away their innocence. They are children for a reason. They are children only for a certain amount of time. Just like a year or two back when middle schools in Connecticut maybe (I don't remember) wanted to give out birth control to middle school girls. Don't you think that's going to encourage sex between kids even more?! What has happened to this world? It bothers me. It bothers me that these children who are going to be taught this are going to be going to school with my children. Why is it that today's parents feel they need to be their children's friends? Your not supposed to be, you are parents. You are to guide them to make right decision. Correct their paths when they seems to stray. Give them better then what you had make better decisions then you did.
Teaching that particular thing to children awakens something in them way before it's time. Let them be...Just let them be children. Arm them with knowledge, yes. That is paramount in this world we live in. But just like you don't say "Sarah, Becky. Mommy and Daddy are broke. We have no money and we are going to be homeless and have no food if we don't come up with $XXXX by such and such date". Why burden your kids with adult stuff like that, why force them to feel responsible for something like that when they don't have to. Sex is a heavy, heavy responsibility. They have their whole lives ahead of them to experience that. But now they need to be focused on Hannah Montana and those adorable little Jonas Boys.
Stepping down now....