Monday, September 7, 2009

Monstrous Mushroom Poop!

Friday had us shopping at Tyson's Corner for our big event that night. Which as a side note was a barrel of fun. And kind of went to my head a bit. It was fun climbing out of a limo with Lamborghini doors and being escorted to the club by the manager while the VH1 cameras followed us. People were like "Woah! Who are they?!" and then to top it off we were seated in the VIP section right next to some players from the Baltimore Orioles while our big bouncer/bodyguards blocked our section off and escorted us to the bathroom. Our own private waitress and all the free drinks we wanted. I totally had like 4 (maybe 5) orange juice and vodka's! Good thing I'm not nursing anymore!

So Friday Shawn and I were out shopping and after lunch we smell that familiar stink. So Shawn goes to the hair salon to get his haircut and I go into the Bloomingdale's dressing room to change Phoenix.

At this stage Phoenix is eating every kind of food and eating and drinking dairy so his diapers are completely offensive. So offensive I'm ready to do one of two things. Bring my milk (which of course ain't happen') back so his diapers can kind of smell good (Shawn and I are weird because we found breastmilk poop to be nice smelling) or go ahead and get him potty trained. The potty training is obviously more likely.

So I'm in Bloomies and I'm changing him and it's really smelly with whole chunks of mushrooms from lunch the day before (I hope you aren't eating and reading. I'm actually watching Top Chef {Go Frederick boy Bryan!} while posting. Yuck!) and I go to slide the diaper from under him and when I slide poop gets everywhere because it was the up the back poop! I had no idea!!!

I'm flipping out because of all days I packed a light diaper bag and left the big one in the car so I only have like 5 wipes and they aren't even that wet! So I do the best I can with cleaning his butt and then the remaining wipes I'm wiping down the bench in the dressing room!

I then only have a tiny bag to wrap the huge gross diaper in and then I had to throw it in a trash can right near the food court! I felt so bad!

Phew.....the life of a mom!

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