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There's something about blogging that is very liberating. Even though there are people who read my blog who I've known in a "past life"-that makes me sound all spooky huh? I don't mean it in that way. It just really was a different me they knew and a different life I was living.
There are also people who read my blog that I know in my current life. But somehow I don't feel the pressure to conceal things like I normally would.
Maybe I'm at the stage in my life where I honestly don't care what anyone thinks about me. As long as my baby and my husband hold me as the center of the universe, I'm good.
So to be able to comfortable say that my husband and I have issues is a huge step for me.
Shawn and I didn't have it easy in the beginning and never got a chance to build a solid foundation before baby came and marriage began.
Luckily we don't have any issues involving addictions (of any kind) or infidelity. Most of our issue are good old fashioned immature behaviors that escalate into huge out of this world arguments.
They really can leave you feeling depressed and desperate. And continuing my transparency, even feeling like we'd be lucky if we made it to our second anniversary.
So Friday we started meeting with our Pastor and our task was to not fight this week and to create the atmosphere we wanted for our marriage.
So far I think we're going to get a big fat F. We started out fine, but now we are currently not speaking and who knows how long that will last.
And as far as creating the atmosphere we want for our marriage?
Will if that means, stress, calm, stress, stress, fight, stress then we nailed it!
Oy vey....
Today is also the day I head back to my friendly gyno to see if I am in fact knocked up again.
I was super stressed last week, but my period came on Friday so odds are I'm not but I can't help but think it would be just our luck to find out I'm pregnant again at the worst time.
"Hi honey! I know we aren't speaking and yesterday we said some really mean things. But guess what! I'm pregnant! again!"
Ooo do I feel your pain. Mine and Mr E's first year of marriage was ...rocky to say the least.It is not that we didn't love each other more than anything, but the stress of a new baby, a new marriage, a new job 500 miles away from all of our family and friends on top of everyday stress.
ReplyDeleteBut communication is key! Yall are taking the right step by talking to your councilor/pastor don't give up. I can say from complete newbie experince the first two years are the hardest. The first year is getting used to each other, the second is learning to overlook and deal with all the little things that annoy the hell out of you about your spouse. And then by the time your third year rolls around your falling in love, a deeper love, all over again.
Good luck at the gyno!
and
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DRAMA!!!!!! very early on in our marriage I realized that I needed to pick and chose my battles. Good luck at the gyno!!! hang in there missy!
ReplyDeleteThanks all so much for all the encouraging comments!
ReplyDeleteAs much as he makes me bonkers sometimes I love him and as long as we are both willing to make this work then I'm still here.