Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Terrible Two Tantrums: Take 2

Can I interest you in a video of my screaming toddler?





So how was that for a tantrum huh? This is the tantrum I was talking about in yesterdays post. We we're at the mall doing a little shopping and waiting for the oil to be changed at the auto shop and decided to let Phoenix play at the malls play place.


This place is new on my radar and I take Phoenix about once a week and let him run around until he passes out. Great and FREE fun.


So on the way to the play area he stops mid walk and won't move. Shawn and I are pleading with him to walk and he just stands there with his arms folded and furrows his brow. I try to go up and get him and he starts jumping back from me screaming "No! No!" I finally grab him strap him down in his stroller and start moving. Of course he's still screaming and the older lady in Hallmark says to me "Don't worry. They always stop." and I shake my head knowingly. 


We manage to make it to the play area and you see what happens on the video.


Did you hear the little boy ask me why my baby was screaming? Sheesh!


Oh yeah and in case you're wondering....we did enter the mall with two shoes. But he kicked off one in the middle of his tirade and refused to let me put it back on. This is like the last 2 minutes of the tantrum. It went on for a good 5 minutes.


When he first started hitting that "in to everything" phase at about 8 mths I of course got embarrassed easily in public when he would start throwing a fit. But then I became immune to it and realized that any other mother has to sympathize with what I'm dealing with. This was true until yesterday.


While he's throwing this fit there are about 3 or 4 other mothers in the area and most are looking at me with that "I've been there" look. But once I was able to get him out of his stroller he starts going to the entrance way and trying to back out. "Phoenix. No. Come back." still backing up. Seriously. He backs up one little step at a time. "Phoenix. Mommy said no." and he's just standing there. This one mother has judgement written all over her face and she's looking at me then back him. Looking at me, then back at him. 


I'm just sitting there. Shawn's just sitting there. What. Do. We. DO!? If we go and get him he's going to lose his, you know what. If we just sit there we're giving in to him. 


I finally decide to scoop him up and get out of there. Of course he starts screaming and kicking me. And while trying to buckle him in the stroller flips backwards. 


It was a nightmare in Toddler Town.


Then to top it off Shawn and I start a stupid argument. It was so stressful that I literally just walked out of the mall in a daze over the whole thing.


I can admit that in my pre-baby days I would judge other mothers who had screaming toddlers. Now in my defense I wasn't used to that. My mother always (honest) had a good hold on us in public and I can't remember very many meltdowns in public from my younger siblings. Now maybe with me and my sister we would have that, but I'm sure by child number 3 she knew what needed to be done. So when I would see toddlers and pre-schoolers hitting their parents in public and acting like a crazy person I would always be like "My kid will never act like that".......Pay back is a.....


But I am still determined not to have my son act like that in public. I love my son more then anything in the world. I mean it. My heart breaks when he hurts and swells with pride when people come tell me how cute or intelligent he is. I love everything about him. But I refuse to be controlled by a toddler. I refuse to eat at home every single night because he can't handle restaurants. It.will.not.happen.


I talked to my mom and got a few tips on how to help stop these attacks in public, but I'm still at a lost (because he did it AGAIN today!)


It's like he went to bed Monday night happy and nice and woke up Tuesday with a gun in his waist band itching for a fight.


The other sucky part is for whatever these tantrums -where when you go to touch him he kind of snaps at you like a dog-are only directed at ME! I don't get it. It puzzles me and as you can imagine makes me feel very, very, very, very sad.


But as much as these tantrums frustrate me I can't help but think that even when he's acting like a little stink he is the cutest thing walking.


How do you handle tantrums? The ones at home don't bother me so much because I have no problem ignoring him or putting him on the couch for time out. But in public thats a little bit harder. My mom suggested I to start getting him used to the "look" and "voice" here at home so when I do it in public he knows I'm not kidding.


What have you done to cut down on tantrums  in public or how do you deal when they happen?


And if you haven't already please don't forget to enter into the Slob Proof Your Home Giveaway!


Happy Tantruming (uh, is that a word?) Toddler Hood.




5 comments:

  1. I so understand the desire for no public temper tantrums. So far we just have it at home and it is pretty cute, although I try not to encourage it. I, too, hope never to judge any one every again.

    Good luck. I will be interested to hear what people suggestion.

    Stopping by from SITS.

    LisaDay

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  2. Stopping by from Friday Follow to say Hi! I already follow and hope you are having great week!

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  3. The screaming sounds familar with my 2 year old son. He will scream at the top of his lungs if he does not get his way. Public or non-public places. I actually have to laugh sometimes. They are so young that they cannot tell you exactly why they are frustrated, so screaming is quicker for them to get it out. Time outs seem to work. We just tell him that it not acceptable behavior and give him a time out-2 minutes for 2 years old. My 4 1/2 year old screamed until she was 3 as a way to communicate. Once she was able to voice her feelings then the screaming seemed to fade and go away. Don't worry about what others think, just focus on staying calm yourself and talk to him in a calm manner.

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  4. Oh I feel for you, as the mother of 3, and there is only 3yrs and 4mths between the eldest and youngest daughter and my son in between. When they have moments like the one in the stroller I have found is that ask him once if they respond by screaming say it is not polite etc ask one more time, if you get the same response, turn away and talk to someone else and ignore him. It is ugly sometimes at first but after that they soon get the message.
    good luck and you are right he is gorgeous!

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