Eesh....I don't even know what words to start with. Is Eesh even a word? Probably to some toddler or something right?
The last 72 hours has made me feel like a huge 4-wheeler truck has hit me. But then backed up and unloaded a truck full of rocks and hot lava.
I had every intention of waking up Friday morning and spending a beautiful day at the zoo (O.M.G I started typing beach instead of zoo. I need a vacation.) with my guys (and we did do just that) but all the while I felt like I had the world sitting on my shoulders.
And every time I thought that the stress, anxiety, and fear would lift that sneaky little truck came barreling down the highway again.
I know I'm being vague instead of just coming out and saying what's going on and my blog "motto" is to always be transparent. And normally I would but because this involves other people its not my place to share everything on the web. But it's been an emotionally rough couple of days.
And to top it off I put my husband on a plane for 3 weeks a few hours ago. We've never been away this long and it happened right at the moment I needed him to stay and sit with me both. But he needs to work so I begrudgingly put him on a plane and cried all the way home....
Until I started shaking because I hit a DEER!
Have you ever hit a deer before? I haven't. I was driving back up the mountain and it was foggy and out of nowhere Bambi's mom comes dashing across the road. I let out the highest pitch yell and watch the think flip and fly across my car. I would have gotten out to make sure the poor thing was ok, but I was on a mountain, by myself, at night. With my 19 mth old in the backseat. Didn't seem wise.
I was so shaken up that when I pulled into my parents driveway just a few miles ahead I had to go in and get someone else to carry Phoenix in because I thought I might pass out!
To prove how shaken I have been the last few days I had to make a pit stop for a "Pas" (pacifer) after leaving the airport. Phoenix had devoured a bag of M&M's and had chocolate everywhere, normally I would have hosed him down before we made the 4 minute stop in the CVS but I was so ready to get home and stop thinking that I didn't care if the check-out girl thought I was an unfit mom because of the state my child was in.
I haven't had a good nights sleep since Thursday and with my husband gone I'm not sure I will anytime soon. So if you believe in prayer I'd appreciate a prayer tonight that God puts me in a deep slumber (and Phoenix too!) tonight.
This too shall pass....right?