Provocative Thoughts: Message Books?

Last week while emptying my ever over flowing Google Reader I got caught up on Ariana's blog Becoming Mom and was reading her post about how the Berenstain Bears have recently dedicated their life to Christ and have a new set of books trying to convert other bears or whatever.

You can read Ariana's post and see what she thought about this new found religion the Bears have adopted.

But I was shocked to see how many other people shared her same sentiment that had she known about the "Christian" message she would not have read the book to her son.


I'm wondering if others out there feel the same way as she does. Like I said in my comment to her (which I totally apologize for all the weird typos. My cursor jumps A LOT and I have no idea why and I always realize it way late) there are a lot more important things to worry about exposing our kids to.


There are so many things that have underlying messages and support different causes and agendas that we might not always agree with but does that mean we put a stop to it?


My family went to a church way back in the day that banned Disney World & Land and all movies because reports came out that Disney only hired homosexuals (AND SO WHAT!) and there was also a ban put on Christmas at one point because of how commercialized it had become.


Obviously that is CRAZY talk, but kind of the same as the books don't you think?


Besides what's wrong with exposing your kids to different views and cultures? 


When that movie The Golden Compass came out a few years ago there was all kinds of boycotting and Facebook groups dedicated to stop people from seeing this movie because the little girl tries (or does) kill God. I thought it was kind of silly. It's fiction right? But there we're many Christian parents who tried to get this movie banned.


But really I'm just wondering if you don't subscribe to a religion would you not read books or allow your kids to read books that the characters we're of a certain religious sect? 


And does it bother you that these classic bears have now adopted a religious side?


Amazon has more titles available if you're interested.

Octo-Mom vs Oprah

I've mentioned before how much I love watching Oprah. It's truly one of my favorite guilty pleasures of being a SAHM (along with All My Children {Totally want to see the JR/Annie thing pan out} and General Hospital {I loooooove Dante/Dominic}). 


So when I heard that Oprah was going to have the infamous Octo-Mom on her show I jumped at the chance to view her self-inflicted train wreck.


But I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised at how she handled dealing with 14 kids and even thrown back a little bit by Oprah's questions.

Yikes! Those stretch marks!!!!!

I guess on one hand I did see that she is was clearly delusional when it came to her decision reasoning to having more kids. I come from a big family. The oldest of 8 with the youngest being 8 so I have a soft spot in my heart for large families. I don't even completely knock her for wanting to have more kids when she was a single mother. But her reason of wanting to create this "village" as she put it made her sound like that 16 year old teen mom that wants a baby so she can have "someone to love her". 


Clearly Nadya has some emotional hurts from her parents that she needs to work on.

And despite all the negative criticism that seems to be hurled her way constantly she had a very clear view on how messed up she was, but how much she wanted to just be a good mother and provide for her kids.


But the thing I was most disappointed about was Oprah's questions.


1. Oprah asked Nadya if she had ever thought about giving any of the children up for adoption or turning them over to foster care.

-How are you supposed to decide which of your kids you want to give away? How can you even fathom that? How does that benefit your child? Doesn't it make that child's life even harder having to wrestle with the fact that he lived with his mom for 6 years and that at 6 she sent him and 4 other siblings to live with someone else....and kept 7 others. Can you imagine the amount of rejection he/she would feel? Someone on Twitter responded to me that only someone without kids could ask that question....


2. The second question and or statement made by both Oprah and Nadya was that with 14 kids (even with 2 parents) you can't possibly give them all of the love and attention that they need and that they would grow up lacking. I can't even begin to tell you how annoyed this statement makes me (I've also heard it said about the Duggars). Both my husband and I come from big families and I think its certainly fair to say that neither of us felt slighted by any love or attention from our parents.


1 Corinthians 10:13 says that God will not give you more then you can handle and if you believe children are from God why would he give my parents, Nadya Suleman, or even the Gosselins tribes of kids that they wouldn't be able to love properly?


Nadya was an only child and she expressed how she didn't get enough love from her parents. 


But I have a hard time believing that if you have more then 2.5 kids or even 4 kids that you won't be able to give them everything they needed. Maybe not financially, but look at celebrity kids who are completely messed up, yet have been handed everything on a silver platter.


And last but not least I'd like to address the fact that Nadya wouldn't do a porn if they offered her a $100 million. I would just like to say to that company....How dare you? Give me a call and I'll do it for 25 million.....and dinner at the Geisha house.

(Gosh and how jealous are you of Jenna Lyons- Executive Creative Designer at JCrew (Featured on Wednesday's Oprah? Ahhhhhhh I want her job! And those fantastic sequence pants she had on)

Learn the business of birth

Two months ago I was able to watch Ricki Lake's documentary "The Business of Being Born" and was riveted by everything that I learned.

I actually took notes while watching it so I could share everything with you all, but I packed the notebook up in the move. So not as many facts as I want to give you...guess that means you'll have to rent the movie.

When I  got pregnant with Phoenix I knew right away that I wanted a natural childbirth. I read a book on the Bradley Method and anything else I could get my hands on. I purchased a big exercise ball, the last few weeks leading up to D-day I practiced all my squats. I printed out my birth plan from The Bump passed it to my doctor and slipped a copy in the hospital bag and one in my husbands wallet just in case.

I had all these visions in my head of a peaceful and serene birth for Phoenix. But I didn't quite get it.

I guess if I put my story up against others it wouldn't have been so bad. But for me, it wasn't what I wanted. The only thing that went according to my plan was not having any drugs.

I didn't want to be strapped to the bed monitored the whole time, but I was. I didn't want to be induced, but I was. I didn't want an episiotomy (Fact: over 1 million unnecessary are performed in the US each year) , but I got one PLUS 100 plus stitches. I had a pretty routine delivery, by hospital standards.

I know I left the hospital with a beautiful blonde baby boy, but I still was slightly disappointed in my birthing experience.

And after watching the TBOBB I really realized how much hospitals and doctors intervene and even cause problems in the delivery room.

The pitocin they give you to speed up your labor, that does nothing but make contractions stronger, which makes you beg and plead for some drugs (or a gun, in my case), that then slow your labor down, that makes the doctors want to speed things up with pitocon, which makes you beg for more drugs, and then they get the brilliant idea to give you a C-section to save your baby. But had they not done all of the interventions your baby wouldn't need saving.

-The US has the second worst newborn death rate among developed countries

-In Europe 70-80% of births are attended by midwives.

-Over the last 10 years the C-section rate has risen by 50%? 

Hospitals are in the business of making money. Open beds = more money. Natural vaginal delivers mean full beds for hours and even days. C-sections/inductions, = money. Period.

In the documentary some studies found that the amount of c-sections performed between the hours of 3 and 5 PM is staggering....and what they found was that doctors didn't like waiting around for a women to go into labor. Start the section then and you can beat traffic and get home to have dinner with your family.  

As women we have been told for so long all the horror stories of birthing and what we can't do it, that we are unable to trust our own bodies. I'm what you would call a creationist. I believe in God and that He alone created us all and everything that surrounds. And so I believe that as women He designed us for a very specific task....to bring forth life and everything that we need to do that is within ourselves. If we allowed our natural instincts to take over I think we'd be surprised at what we would be able to do.

I'm not saying that doctors and hospitals are wrong. I also wouldn't consider myself a "hippie" by any means advocating giving birth outside by a tree or anything. But we spend so much time when we're pregnant worrying about not drinking coffee or eating fish, that we don't spend enough time thinking about our delivery and the things we shouldn't be putting in our bodies at that time. 


And if you must have a c-section for medical reasons...by all means do so! Do whatever is safest for you and your baby. But always know that a c-section should not be your first thought and that being induced isn't always best either.


I've already made the decision that whenever I do decide to have another baby that I will be doing it with a midwife and either in a birthing center or at home. And if you are pregnant or thinking of becoming pregnant do your research. Even if you choose to go with a doctor make sure its a doctor that's goal and objective is to give you, your best birth.

And check out the movie if you haven't seen it.


Good places for information and facts:


http://www.givingbirthnaturally.com/


http://thebirthsurvey.com/


http://www.motherfriendly.org/index.php

Waying in on Mom bloggers

How did my New York Times obsessed husband miss this little gem about mommy blogging?


Go on and read the article and this one here too and then come back and read my thoughts on it.


I'll give you a few moments

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(Ha! I wasn't trying to be obscene, but that kinda looks like a boob huh?)

Like I said I have no idea how Shawn missed this one considering he is on the NY times website all.day.long. But nevertheless he did....Men always seem to miss the important things huh?

But here's my two cents.....I can't necessarily tell if the journalist is coming from the angle of "bad mommy bloggers" or "bad mommy bloggers that sacrifice writing for reviews and free things". I'm going to assume it's the later considering Ms. Jennifer Mendelsohn is a "mommy blogger" herself.

But I'm going to have to take the {probably) unpopular road and agree with her. 

What "Mom" blogger doesn't think sometimes that it would be great to turn her little rants & recipes into something huge like Dooce or Pioneer Woman? I think that. But I can't get behind the ones that seem to sacrifice good writing, humorous stories, and beautiful pictures for sponsored reviews, giveaways, coupons, and free cleaning products all for numbers.

It seems that when you Google "Get more blog exposure/readers" the results come back and its a bunch of SEO things I don't understand or tips designed to leave insincere comments on blogs in hopes people will bite and hop on over to your Wordpress or Blogger site.

Maybe I'm bitter that I had planned on attending this particular conference thus I could have been interviewed had my blog listed, driven ridiculous amounts of traffic to my blog and been able to make six-figures, get an HGTV show and written a book-had I not forgotten. 

But I digress.I'm not bitter....really I'm not (AHHHHHHH!!!!!! Like me! Like me! Like me!) ok seriously kidding.

But I think that if we could go back to the dark ages maybe "mom" bloggers wouldn't get such a bad rap? 

In a nut-shell, lets stop being so commercial for crying out loud! Not knocking blog conferences or networks. I belong to a few, but I will never sacrifice my content to get some free garb or have 28,000 views a day. 

But I can say I have been guilty (more than a time or two) of putting dinner on hold, changing a dirty diaper late (and you know its late because the poop is totally like concrete on their butt), or leaving the laundry for days to finish posting or reading blogs. 

But hey, just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I can't have a life too.

Now where's my kid again? 




Oh there he is....walking into traffic. Guess I better go.

Real Housewives give parenting advice?

I'm sure I'm not alone in watching all of the hilarious insanity of The Real Houswives OC right? You know the big fake boobed blondies? 

Did you catch the episode where Gretchen took loopy Lynn's daughter Alexis out on a shopping trip to tell her if she ever needed to talk she could go straight to her?


They pretty much have been recapping it the last 3 episodes and Lynn went BANANAS on Gretchen for giving her daughter unsolicited advice.


I was pretty shocked to hear Gretchen completely disrespect Lynn as a parent and thought she was completely out of line for trying to go behind her back...


But now I'm curious (as I always am). What do you think? How do you feel about your teenager getting advice from other adults? Is it ok from a relative, but not a random adult friend? Does it matter to you who your teen is talking to as long as their talking?


Me personally, I don't like it. I would be totally fine if Phoenix wanted to confide in one of his many, many uncles or several aunts or of course his Ya or Bop-Bop. But I would expect that this mature and rational adult would fill me in on the conversation if it meant he was doing something or thinking of doing something that could end him up in jail, hurt, a baby-daddy or dead. 


But other then very close family members I would be offended and feel disrespected if a friend tried to pull Phoenix aside to be a confidant. 


Thoughts?

Guilty as charged!

I think I have posted a few times about some fights difference of opinion conversations Shawn and I have had. Ones that ruin perfectly delicious mushroom & swiss turkey burgers.m

If you break down our "differences" and pull away all of the nasty stuff people say in fights and get to the root issue you will see that on my side it's a disagreement about him not being able to set boundaries with work and on his side it's that I act like I'm superior then him.

So I was watching The Today show last Monday and they were discussing a new book about being a superior wife.
I'm sure just by the title of that you can figure out what it's about.

I can honestly say that I am very guilty of that "I can do it better then you" attitude. Just yesterday morning I said to him this was my last week cleaning the house and he needed to hire me a housekeeper. His response was "Well give me some chores." my response "I don't like how you clean" The same goes for the cooking, or the diaper changing, or the dressing, or the laundry, or the scheduling of appointments, paying bills, yeah scratch that. Ha!

I just think that I simply do it all better.And maybe I do. I think even Shawn can admit that I'm a little better at the cleaning, cooking, and other household stuff. But that doesn't mean I can't relinquish some of that control and let him try right? How will he ever learn to do it the way I want or better yet, why can't I embrace his ways?


But on the other side of being a superior wife are husbands who enjoy handing over the "control"to their wives. And I personally think my husband falls into that category. It makes life very easy for him to walk into a room and say "Have you see my w..." and before he even gets the words out I've handed him the missing wallet, keys, and the check to deposit that he accidentally threw in the trash. 
He doesn't need to worry about getting Phoenix ready for church on Sunday and getting dinner on the table while folding laundry.


I'm seriously considering ordering the book because I've tried for the last year and a half to change. We've been living together (married almost a year) for 3 years but it's only recent that I can agree I am a bit anal, controlling, and superior acting.

Are YOU guilty of being a superior wife? 

Does this warrant a CPS call?

Being a mom (and a wife) is hard all on its own without worrying about strangers judging you. I worry about it a lot. I use 3 people to hold Phoenix down just to clean his nose because I don't want other parents to think I'm one of those moms. Ya know the kind. The kind with the kids who look like the roll in pools of snot, cookies, boogers, and red juice. Yuck! So I really do try not to judge other moms too bad.

BUT. While preparing for Phoenix's first birthday extravaganza I met a neighbor of mine that had just moved in with her 8 month pregnant daughter and her husband. She says that I may have seen her and her daughter outside smoking..."Um, wait you mean the daughter who's pregnant?!" I nearly shouted "Yeah, hahaha she won't listen to anyone"

We chatted for a few more moments and I really, honestly fought the urge to knock this lady in the face! But ever since that day I see the two of them from my kitchen window smoking and I get so angry!

Like angry to the point I want to call CPS! Are you even allowed to do that? Like that has to be child abuse right?

This is why they should make you fill out a questionnaire before getting pregnant

The Epiphany Part 2

Before you read the following post make sure you have read Part 1 to be completely caught up.

So to continue. Last night while driving down the mountain Shawn and I started talking, and it was there that it all clicked for me. We have this Christianity/Religious thing all backwards. We have been completely doing it wrong. The way I was taught with youth group, youth leaders, Christian magazines, and pastors was that in order to get to heaven you needed to. 1. Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior 2. Repent and turn away from your old wicked lifestyle and 3. Stop doing wicked and bad things. If you did not do these things you would burn in hell for all of eternity. For a young christian the list of sins that you will burn in hell for kind of goes like this:

• No drinking
• No smoking
• No drugs
• No secular music or strange fire (as some call it)
  
• No bad TV
• No bad movies
• No cussing
• No sex
• No dating
• No heathen friends
• No secular books or magazines
• No babies out of wedlock
• No living with a man or women before marriage

Well I broke every single one of those rules except the drugs (not my style) So under the teaching of my "old life" I would essentially burn in hell. Which now explains why that nasty Facebook person thought I wasn't serving God. But you know what?....That is NOT what keeps you from heaven. Not doing those things does not mean you are saved. There is so much emphasis put on living a Godly and holy lifestyle and refraining from doing anything on the above list, but not enough emphasis on what being a Christian is really all about. You know what God wants from us? To love Him and to love one another. Matthew 22:37-40(The Message Bible)

^37-40Jesus said, "'Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.' This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: 'Love others as well as you love yourself.' These two commands are pegs; everything in God's Law and the Prophets hangs from them."

All God wants from us is to make a decision and to acknowledge that "Yes. You are the Son of God" John 3:16-18 (The Message Bible)

^16-18"This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person's failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him.

But where we make our mistake and where we lose people is by insisting upon living under our convictions. For some people it's not so easy to just stop drinking or smoking. There are good Christian men and women. Pastors, and teachers, and Prophets who have a glass of wine, or cigar occasionally. Does that mean they don't love God? Does that mean they are going to hell? No. Because all the Bible says is "BELIEVE IN ME AND LOVE ME". That's all he wants. God does not demand like Pastors and Youth Pastors and Camp teachers that you get rid of your secular music (hell! that's how my husband pays for my expensive shopping habits!), God doesn't ask that you stop smoking. You know what? I don't even think he cares! As long as you believe in him and you love him and you love others you are fine! When I cuss because I cut myself or stubbed my foot, yeah He probably doesn't like to hear it. But you know what bothers Him even more? When my sister and I would fight and call each other names...Why? Because we broke His only other rule, which is "Love others/Don't hurt others/Don't Curse others". Pornography and adultery is blatantly breaking rule number 2. A husband (or wife) hurts their partner when they engage in pornography or lust after someone else. "LOVE ONE ANOTHER"

So you see, I now wonder if Michael Jackson really went to hell......If he believed that there was a God and he believed Jesus was the Son of God he did all he was required to do. There is that whole issue of confessing our sins before God, but don't we all do that on a daily basis? Maybe not everyone goes into their prayer closet and begins to unload a laundry list out loud. Maybe some go through out their day and think "Wow, that wasn't a good idea to yell at my boss. Shucks. I shouldn't have done that.". That's confessing. Confessing is merely speaking aloud a truth even if you don't know exactly who you are saying it to.

Matthew 22:14 (New American Standard)

¹⁴"For many are called, but few are chosen."

Now I'm no Bible scholar. I did go to Bible school and did pretty well academically, but I could still be wrong here. But my interpretation of this scripture. Perhaps everyone is not called to live a completely pious lifestyle. We are all called to confess that Christ is King right? After that is done, we are then required to love one another. If we do those things, we have done what was required. Everything else is extra curricular or being "chosen".

I think back to my mention of Oprah in Part 1 and how she certainly follows the commands. But it's that "Love one another" that she has down to a T! Better then some Pastors and Church communities. Oprah, gives and gives, and gives, and gives. Yes, she might give Wash Machines and Cars, and Books and KFC coupons, but she still gives. She loves. And I believe she is a believer. She might not go to church every Sunday and she might live with Stedman, and have physics on her show. But she's done what was required.

This post is getting really long so I think I should just sum it up as this. We (Christians) have made this thing extremely more complicated then it needs to be. We put far to many requirements on ourselves and on others then Jesus puts on us. I think that Michael Jackson did go to heaven. I think he believed in God. He believed Jesus was the Messiah. But he was also still lost. He was an ignorant man who did not know any better. But he had a heart that hungered for truth, a heart that for 50 years searched and searched for what true happiness would be. God saw his heart. God knew how much that man hurt inside. And I think He forgave him.

I think that when we get to heaven we are going to be very surprised by those who are there and those who aren't. Finally coming to this revelation is completely changed how a view so many things in the world. Trust me, I'm not looking for an excuse to cover up any of my past mistakes. I humbly repent to God every day for the things that I have done. But I have decided that I'm not going to live under this cloud of shame or be worried about what is going to happen to me after I'm gone. I love Jesus, I believe he is the Son of God and I am going to strive every day to love even the mean old lady next door who hit my car. I'm going to stop putting so much stock in ancillary things. I'm going to stop putting so much stock in "I'm a Pastor", "I'm Leader" "I run prayer groups!" "I'm a Prophet". How about "I'm a lover of Christ".

I'm just going to love Him. The rest will be worked out on it's own.

The Epiphany Part 1

I interrupt our regularly scheduled program to share an epiphany that I had last night while driving back down the mountain from Sunday night dinner at my parents house. I warn though that this post may be quite lengthy so you might want to pause your TV shows or grab a bowl of popcorn.

Of course the conversation last night veered towards the Billy May's death, the Farrah Fawcett ass cancer (Helloooo I don't mean to speak ill of the dead, but am I the only one who didn't know she had ASS cancer? And how the heck do you get ASS cancer?) and of course the shocking death of Michael Jackson. We started talking about how we are all so shocked he had died, etc., etc. Then we started discussing my sisters FB status about Michael Jackson and it was "Michael Jackson...I wonder what God is going to say to him..." Someone had written back about how they thought God would ask them if MJ knew him, and they started speculating how they did not think the response was going to be very good....Ok so skip forward to Sunday night, so amongst our big dining room table we started a rowdy discussion of the FB comment and I mentioned I'm sure that across the churches in America that day the Pastor's probably mentioned how MJ had died and was going to burn in hell and he got what he deserved because he was a sinner, and then he probably followed up with some scripture and passed the offering bucket around... So then my mom was telling us how she heard that Andrae Crouch was able to lead Michael Jackson to the Lord 3 weeks before he died. Also before I get to my main point I need to interject one other small note. Last Sunday we had a guest speaker come to our church and he was talking about how he got kicked out of a church because he was saying that in one the CA wildfires, houses all around Oprah's house were burning down but hers was left untouched. He wondered to the Pastor if God spared her house because she was such a giver (giving being a big thing in the Bible)...The Pastor said no and that Oprah was leading people to hell, and he was never invited back that church...
Ok so now that I have given you all of that info I can share with you the spiritual epiphany I had last night.

If you only know me via my blog, you may not know that from the time I could blink basically I have been in church. Every time the doors were opened there my family was. I was on the worship team, at youth group every Friday night, signed the purity contract, threw away my secular music after every Acquire The Fire, was homeschooled so I didn't have to be influenced by those bad, bad public school kids. And when I graduated I packed right up and went on to Bible School (until I got, more or less kicked out, but that's another story for another time). So me, I'm a Christian girl, I always have sought to do my best living my life the way I was taught I should in youth group and camp meetings. But then I went to Bible school. In 2004 my life and my mindset completely changed. Was it a good or bad change? Well that depends on who you ask. After I left Bible school I struggled a lot with Christianity. Not so much the objective of Christianity, I didn't doubt a lot of things I had been taught, but I started to see Christians as a big group of hypocritical, lying, heathens that put on their ties and stockings on Sunday and pretend they are better then the man who sleeps in on Sunday morning. For the past 5 years I have really struggled with what it means to really be a follower of Christ. I never went crazy and did drugs or slept around with a bunch of different guys. I was pretty tame compared to others. But I did smoke a cigarette once or five times. I did get drunk twice, swore I would never do it again and I haven't, I dated, I would go to the guy of the moments house unsupervised, I listened to secular music, I watched Soap Operas (ooooo the horror!), and I had I committed the most unforgivable sin..I lived with a man and had a baby out of wedlock. But even in my "backslidden" state I never stopped loving the Lord. I never stopped praying or reading my Bible. I never stopped going to church (well I did for a bit, but for other reasons), I never stopped believing in all that I had been taught. That's why when last summer someone had commented on FB that they weren't aware I was even serving the Lord, (I guess it was my big belly that threw them off the scent)the comment enraged me. I didn't understand how someone who I hadn't seen in 4 or 5 years and even barely knew could make an assumption like that. And so I figured I must really be a sinner uh? That is until last night...I believe that we (meaning us Christians) have gotten this entire thing completely wrong. After the initial shock of MJ dying wore off I felt myself getting sad because I thought "Wow he was just an amazing musical genius here on earth, it's a shame he died and now won't get to go to Heaven" I struggled with that last week because from what I know about MJ he has had a terrible life. He had great success with his career, great financial success (minus the millions of debt he's in now) but yet he was such a hurting person. It was like the media keeps calling him this "man-child" a conflicted man who didn't really know who he was. I started to think that it was really unfair that he would have to go to hell.

But last night I was hit with such astounding clarity about this Christianity thing and being saved, that it made me wonder about all I've known for the last 16 years. Here's my disclaimer. I know some of the people who read my blog, and some of you I don't know. Some of those I know are unfortunately probably going to be offended by this. I apologize. Certainly not my intention. My theory could be completely and utterly wrong. I'm not saying I'm right. I won't know until I get to heaven and I hope that is a looooooooooooooong time from now. But sorry if I offend anyone, you are more then welcome to delete me and my heathenistic ways from FB, MySpace,Twitter, Blog List, or what have you.

This post will cease for now, as I still have about 100 hours of work left to do and I don't want it to get to long that no one reads it. Part 2 shall follow shortly....

Low Klass Baby Gear

Saturday while out shopping we walked past Spencers and I was completely appalled at the baby items they had available.





What kind of parent buys things like this for their child to wear. I think it's completely disgusting and immature. I try my very best not to judge other mothers/parents. We are hard enough on ourselves without the added pressure of strangers opinions. But if I saw someone's child wearing something like this I would judge in a heartbeat. Immature, low klass, disturbing, and obscene. I'm guessing this is the store where teenage parents shop???

The birds and the bees

Yesterday was yet again another thought provoking Oprah Show for me. Yesterday's show was about having the sex talk with your children (specifically your daughters). I came in a little late and didn't finish the whole thing, but I got just enough to bother me.

I thought all day about writing this post, but when I was recounting the show to Shawn I was just getting more and more annoyed so I decided to use my personal blog as my soap box.

Dr. Laura Berman was on the show giving tips about how and when to have the talk with your children. They had a mother on who (with the assistance of Dr. Laura Berman) had the sex talk with her 10 year old daughter. It actually was very informative and she seemed to be doing well....Then they get to the whole pleasuring part and how to explain to your freshman's about loving yourself. Her reasoning behind it was that if they learn they can do it themselves they won't feel like the feelings are specific to a boy, thus they may not have sex. They talked about vibrators and the whole thing. I immediately get inwardly outraged and here's why.

I think every child is different, number one. Some children may be ready for the talk at 10 some at 13. It's a maturity thing. I do believe that it is essential that children get this information from their parents and not their peers, television or even (dare I say it) teachers. I believe it's important to give your children all of the facts. I personally intend to teach my children abstinence. Some may think that it's an ideal, unrealistic, religiously driven, or just plain stoopid thing to teach. But nonetheless, abstinence in my opinion is the best. Granted my Phoenix showed up prior to me being married, I still longed to have waited and that's what my children will know. Remember as parents we want the best, better then what we had.

Moving on.

But what really angered me with yesterday's show was the emphasis put on teaching children or pre-teens about masturbation. I think it's wrong. That is an adult act and by teaching our children that we are taking away their innocence. They are children for a reason. They are children only for a certain amount of time. Just like a year or two back when middle schools in Connecticut maybe (I don't remember) wanted to give out birth control to middle school girls. Don't you think that's going to encourage sex between kids even more?! What has happened to this world? It bothers me. It bothers me that these children who are going to be taught this are going to be going to school with my children. Why is it that today's parents feel they need to be their children's friends? Your not supposed to be, you are parents. You are to guide them to make right decision. Correct their paths when they seems to stray. Give them better then what you had make better decisions then you did.

Teaching that particular thing to children awakens something in them way before it's time. Let them be...Just let them be children. Arm them with knowledge, yes. That is paramount in this world we live in. But just like you don't say "Sarah, Becky. Mommy and Daddy are broke. We have no money and we are going to be homeless and have no food if we don't come up with $XXXX by such and such date". Why burden your kids with adult stuff like that, why force them to feel responsible for something like that when they don't have to. Sex is a heavy, heavy responsibility. They have their whole lives ahead of them to experience that. But now they need to be focused on Hannah Montana and those adorable little Jonas Boys.

Stepping down now....

Secrets of Motherhood (WARNING: THIS IS A LOOONG POST)

One of the SAHM perks for me is being able to watch Oprah! Yay. My favorite topics are the sexually confused, gender switching ones. I am oddly fascinated with those stories. When I was working I would hate that I would miss all the great topics she would have. So most days I get a chance to watch it or at least DVR it so I can catch it later. Monday was a show about the Secrets of Motherhood. They had several women on the show talking about how hard motherhood had been for them and how there was all of these things they didn't expect. Loneliness, resentment towards their babies or husbands, PPD, hating their husbands, not wanting to ever have sex again, thinking "Why did I do this to my life", Who am I?, all kinds of things. Listening to their stories I stopped folding the laundry and thought "What did no one tell me about motherhood? What did I not expect? What has been hard for me?" and I honest to God could not think of anything. I thought to myself. For me motherhood has been a completely wonderful experience. I mentioned in one of my previous post about how it's like Christmas morning every single morning. Even those morning's that he decides to wake up at 5:30, get in my bed and proceed to kick and scratch me while he sleeps (this has been his "new" thing) I still wake up feeling more complete then the day before.

Some expressed that when they became mothers they didn't know who they were and that they didn't realize all the sacrifices they would have to make. To me sacrifice should be a babies middle name! And since becoming a mother I feel like I now have more of an idea of who I am. Don't get me wrong, I do want to eventually do and be something other then Shawn's wife and Phoenix's mom. I have dreams and goals that I would one day like to see fulfilled and in action. But if this is all I ever get to be you know what? I'm happy with that. I'm settled in my heart about that.

Motherhood does have it's moments but never once have I ever said "What was I thinking? Why did I do this?". I've said it aloud before but only after hearing other women say that and I just wanted to see how it would taste on my tongue, and it tasted gross. It wasn't me, it wasn't how I felt.

I thought to myself as I watched "What am I missing here? Am I not doing such a good job, is that why I don't feel overwhelmed and like I've given up my entire life?" So I talked to Shawn about it that night and together we realized that the highly religious background we both come from had a lot to do with that. Where we come from higher education was not something that you as a girl you should seek out. The girls I knew hoped instead of being doctors or lawyers, or teachers and business women, they hoped to be wives of Pastors and mothers, and marry young. For me my family was different and although my parents married young, they never made us feel like that was all we should ever hope for. It was the other authorities in our lives, but growing up hearing that kind of thing prepares you to be ready and waiting for a certain thing. Your taught to strive to be a praying dutiful wife and and a loving, caring mom, a warrior for Christ and nothing more. So that's part of where it comes from for me.

The other part for me is my own mother. I'm the oldest of 8, and all growing up I never saw my mom get completely frazzled or fed up (with the exception of the time that my dad was out to sea and my sister and I knocked down her birthday cake...she was a wee bit upset and cried about that one. But we made it up by buying her Windsong perfume from the Dollar Tree). She took motherhood and all that came with it in stride. Oh she got mad with us, but I never felt like she resented us or regretted giving up a full scholarship to Temple University to be a mother.

I also have a tremendous support system. I have a husband (and I am not just praising him so he looks good on my blog) who is the most amazing father. He has great connection with our son, he's just as in tune to his needs as I am and he is always, always willing to help me whenever or however I need it. I have great parents who encourage me to be a better parent every day. Parent's who are willing to offer babysitting services and overnight stays so that I can sleep or get work done. And of course I have a housekeeper who helps take care of everything else. So maybe I'm in the minority. But I feel very blessed.


I hope I don't offend anyone by this post, or make it seem like motherhood is the easiest thing ever in life. For everyone it's different. Everyone has different challenges. Non supportive family members, husbands, financial problems, overwhelming work loads. But for me these are just my feelings about what motherhood has meant for me.