Friday, April 10, 2009

The birds and the bees

Yesterday was yet again another thought provoking Oprah Show for me. Yesterday's show was about having the sex talk with your children (specifically your daughters). I came in a little late and didn't finish the whole thing, but I got just enough to bother me.

I thought all day about writing this post, but when I was recounting the show to Shawn I was just getting more and more annoyed so I decided to use my personal blog as my soap box.

Dr. Laura Berman was on the show giving tips about how and when to have the talk with your children. They had a mother on who (with the assistance of Dr. Laura Berman) had the sex talk with her 10 year old daughter. It actually was very informative and she seemed to be doing well....Then they get to the whole pleasuring part and how to explain to your freshman's about loving yourself. Her reasoning behind it was that if they learn they can do it themselves they won't feel like the feelings are specific to a boy, thus they may not have sex. They talked about vibrators and the whole thing. I immediately get inwardly outraged and here's why.

I think every child is different, number one. Some children may be ready for the talk at 10 some at 13. It's a maturity thing. I do believe that it is essential that children get this information from their parents and not their peers, television or even (dare I say it) teachers. I believe it's important to give your children all of the facts. I personally intend to teach my children abstinence. Some may think that it's an ideal, unrealistic, religiously driven, or just plain stoopid thing to teach. But nonetheless, abstinence in my opinion is the best. Granted my Phoenix showed up prior to me being married, I still longed to have waited and that's what my children will know. Remember as parents we want the best, better then what we had.

Moving on.

But what really angered me with yesterday's show was the emphasis put on teaching children or pre-teens about masturbation. I think it's wrong. That is an adult act and by teaching our children that we are taking away their innocence. They are children for a reason. They are children only for a certain amount of time. Just like a year or two back when middle schools in Connecticut maybe (I don't remember) wanted to give out birth control to middle school girls. Don't you think that's going to encourage sex between kids even more?! What has happened to this world? It bothers me. It bothers me that these children who are going to be taught this are going to be going to school with my children. Why is it that today's parents feel they need to be their children's friends? Your not supposed to be, you are parents. You are to guide them to make right decision. Correct their paths when they seems to stray. Give them better then what you had make better decisions then you did.

Teaching that particular thing to children awakens something in them way before it's time. Let them be...Just let them be children. Arm them with knowledge, yes. That is paramount in this world we live in. But just like you don't say "Sarah, Becky. Mommy and Daddy are broke. We have no money and we are going to be homeless and have no food if we don't come up with $XXXX by such and such date". Why burden your kids with adult stuff like that, why force them to feel responsible for something like that when they don't have to. Sex is a heavy, heavy responsibility. They have their whole lives ahead of them to experience that. But now they need to be focused on Hannah Montana and those adorable little Jonas Boys.

Stepping down now....


Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Becoming a baker

I think I have a little creative/talent gene in me. I've always loved to write, so therefore in my head I consider myself a "writer". I also have a knack for music. Not so much the writing portion of it, that would be my husband, but the singing of it I think I do very well. But I've always wished I was more crafty or more of a baker. Now even more so with being a mom I see tons and tons of craft and recipe blogs and long to be able to create clever things for my bebe to wear or tasty things for us to nosh on. I am a very, very, very good cook. I can make anything just give me a recipe and mine will be just as good or better. Just tonight I made lasagna, night before, homemade meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Night before that..Shrimp Scampi. But what I've always wanted to be able to do is bake. If for no other reason then to justify this purchase to my husband. So I have decided to start trying my hand at baking. Not just making my "special" cupcakes which is just buying a box of chocolate cake mix, icing them with cream cheese frosting and topping them with sprinkles. So this week I started with a recipe I got from my sister-in-law. They are Dump Bars. Shawn loved them but hates the name and wants me to change them to something else.

Tonight was supposed to be Italian creme cake, but I forgot whipping cream and tried to use milk which turned my creme into more of a liquid. So I popped it in the freezer in the hopes it would stiffen, so far it's been 6 hours and it's just really cold. So tomorrow I'll try again. Once it's complete I'll post a picture and the recipe.

I'm going to try a new bake good once a week, maybe every other week depending on it's high calorie sugar content and post the recipes for you.

Good luck to me!

Dump Bars

Dump Bar's
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 1 3/4 cup flour
  • 5 eggs
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup oil
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1/2 cup cocoa (Hershey's of course!)
  • 1 cup chocolate chips
Dump all ingredients except chocolate chips in a bowl mix until all ingredients are all moistened. Spread in greased 9x13 pan. Sprinkle chocolate chips on top. Do not stir. Bake at 350 F for 30-35 minutes.




Secrets of Motherhood (WARNING: THIS IS A LOOONG POST)

One of the SAHM perks for me is being able to watch Oprah! Yay. My favorite topics are the sexually confused, gender switching ones. I am oddly fascinated with those stories. When I was working I would hate that I would miss all the great topics she would have. So most days I get a chance to watch it or at least DVR it so I can catch it later. Monday was a show about the Secrets of Motherhood. They had several women on the show talking about how hard motherhood had been for them and how there was all of these things they didn't expect. Loneliness, resentment towards their babies or husbands, PPD, hating their husbands, not wanting to ever have sex again, thinking "Why did I do this to my life", Who am I?, all kinds of things. Listening to their stories I stopped folding the laundry and thought "What did no one tell me about motherhood? What did I not expect? What has been hard for me?" and I honest to God could not think of anything. I thought to myself. For me motherhood has been a completely wonderful experience. I mentioned in one of my previous post about how it's like Christmas morning every single morning. Even those morning's that he decides to wake up at 5:30, get in my bed and proceed to kick and scratch me while he sleeps (this has been his "new" thing) I still wake up feeling more complete then the day before.

Some expressed that when they became mothers they didn't know who they were and that they didn't realize all the sacrifices they would have to make. To me sacrifice should be a babies middle name! And since becoming a mother I feel like I now have more of an idea of who I am. Don't get me wrong, I do want to eventually do and be something other then Shawn's wife and Phoenix's mom. I have dreams and goals that I would one day like to see fulfilled and in action. But if this is all I ever get to be you know what? I'm happy with that. I'm settled in my heart about that.

Motherhood does have it's moments but never once have I ever said "What was I thinking? Why did I do this?". I've said it aloud before but only after hearing other women say that and I just wanted to see how it would taste on my tongue, and it tasted gross. It wasn't me, it wasn't how I felt.

I thought to myself as I watched "What am I missing here? Am I not doing such a good job, is that why I don't feel overwhelmed and like I've given up my entire life?" So I talked to Shawn about it that night and together we realized that the highly religious background we both come from had a lot to do with that. Where we come from higher education was not something that you as a girl you should seek out. The girls I knew hoped instead of being doctors or lawyers, or teachers and business women, they hoped to be wives of Pastors and mothers, and marry young. For me my family was different and although my parents married young, they never made us feel like that was all we should ever hope for. It was the other authorities in our lives, but growing up hearing that kind of thing prepares you to be ready and waiting for a certain thing. Your taught to strive to be a praying dutiful wife and and a loving, caring mom, a warrior for Christ and nothing more. So that's part of where it comes from for me.

The other part for me is my own mother. I'm the oldest of 8, and all growing up I never saw my mom get completely frazzled or fed up (with the exception of the time that my dad was out to sea and my sister and I knocked down her birthday cake...she was a wee bit upset and cried about that one. But we made it up by buying her Windsong perfume from the Dollar Tree). She took motherhood and all that came with it in stride. Oh she got mad with us, but I never felt like she resented us or regretted giving up a full scholarship to Temple University to be a mother.

I also have a tremendous support system. I have a husband (and I am not just praising him so he looks good on my blog) who is the most amazing father. He has great connection with our son, he's just as in tune to his needs as I am and he is always, always willing to help me whenever or however I need it. I have great parents who encourage me to be a better parent every day. Parent's who are willing to offer babysitting services and overnight stays so that I can sleep or get work done. And of course I have a housekeeper who helps take care of everything else. So maybe I'm in the minority. But I feel very blessed.


I hope I don't offend anyone by this post, or make it seem like motherhood is the easiest thing ever in life. For everyone it's different. Everyone has different challenges. Non supportive family members, husbands, financial problems, overwhelming work loads. But for me these are just my feelings about what motherhood has meant for me.


Monday, April 6, 2009

Baby food time is ovah!

This past weekend brought us closer to the day that little Phoenix puts on his little book bag, waves and hops on the school bus. We started Phoenix on baby food at 4 months. We could instantly tell food was a pure hit for him. Nothing satisfied him and everything tasted good. At about 6 months we bumped the solid intake up to 3 meals a day and went to stage two baby food. Still after a whole jar of food and a nice serving of baby oatmeal he still didn't seem satisfied. Over the weekend we had Jason Upton come through our church (he was great. awesome. such a blessing) Shawn and I volunteered with the meetings because it was almost 600 people. So we get there 2 hours early and are kind of just hanging out. We had food for the band and after they were done there were leftover. Of course my husband and my pregnant sister and a few other make a bee-line for the food. I knew that the moment Phoenix saw anyone put anything near their lips he would flip so I decided to nurse. We sit down, have a nice little nursing session. Do you think this kid is full? Please! Not in the least. He sits up and starts reaching for his Dad, who always passes him treats. Then for his Aunt Abby who starts to feed him green beans and stuff. We eventually had to make him a plate because he kept going after every one's food. One lady even says to me "Wow, does he ever get full?" and I was like 'Nope! He doesn't!" He was making me look like I never fed him! So after an almost adult size plate I finally put my foot down and tell him that meal time was done and over. So we move on we go out and enjoy the worship service. Then his Papouli aka my Dad comes back and starts trying to feed him Fritos! I'm screaming "No!!!!!!" And again this is after a recent nursing session. So I go make him a bowl of oatmeal and fruit, feed him that. He starts flipping out when its over and so not to disrupt the people trying to enter in I give him ANOTHER jar of squash. When that's over he is STILL screaming! So to this my mom says "Al, I think he's done with this baby food" Later that evening we went out to dinner and order him chicken tenders, which he eats, along with Shawn's mashed potatoes. And starts screaming because we tell him it's time to go!

We went Sunday to Buy Buy Baby which I am soooo in love with. I mean seriously! Babies R Us has nothing on BBB. We bought him a new highchair and this great Skip Hop playmat. We are turning our new dining room into his playroom. Our new kitchen is HUGE. Big enough for my office, eat in kitchen and an island with bar stools so we really didn't need a formal dining room. We also are in the process of re-doing his nursery too. It's going to be really cute! Fun, Fun Fun!



Sunday, April 5, 2009

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

8 months old today!

Today was my little baby cakes, my little monkey bear, my Finster man's 8 month old birthday...tear :-( Gosh I swear this time flies by so fast. One moment I'm cleaning gently around his umbilical cord the next I'm telling him no after he pulls at Charlotte's fur.

At 8 months old Phoenix has a plethora of tricks that he can do
  • He can wave
  • He can say Dada (and the other day I swear he said "Hey Ma!" after his Baby show went off)
  • He can crawl. I'm talking full on crawl. Not army crawling or scooting backwards. Full on moving legs and arms. He's been doing this for about a month and a half now
  • Pull himself up and pivoting to another piece of furniture.
  • Turn the pages in a board book
  • He has two of his bottom teeth
  • He can crawl up a step
  • He can throw a fit. If you don't give him what he wants pronto he does this little screech and tightens his arms and bring them in close to his body
  • And he gives the best kisses ever!
  • Give commands
  • He can grab your face and turn it towards him
  • He plays well by himself
  • Call us into the room if we're not in there with him
  • Use a big boy bathtub
  • Pull himself up in the car seat
Basically in a nutshell he is growing up. He's mobile, loud, screechy, talkative and growing up way to fast!

Today Daddy surprised him with a cupcake. So we decided to let him practice for his big birthday cake in a few months (which will be a huge monkey with a guitar done by Charm City Cakes)...Here's what happens....




Success huh?


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